Friday, July 3, 2015

Getting Over Self

Growing up, I used to believe that I was a fairly laid back, easy going, and dare I say...outgoing person. I felt confident in who I was, especially when I was in my comfort zone surrounded by familiar people and places. I certainly wouldn't have considered myself to be high-strung.

It's amazing how quickly the door is flung wide open once you get married. All of a sudden, there's another person in your life 100% of the time. When you wake up, she's there. When you come home from work, she's there. When you go to bed, yup...there. The wonderful thing about this new person that soaks up every second of your life, is that she's not you. She has opinions, her own way of doing things, and her own free will. She folds clothes a certain way. She puts only the toilet seat down, while I also close the lid (mama taught me right). She grew up with different life lessons, different priorities, and different habits.

(Enter baby stage right). Now you've got a third person in your life, also there 100% of the time. Guess what? This little person also has his own opinion. And if he's anything like his mommy, that personality is a big one. He also does not have the same desire to do things the way that we do. After having been married for close to a decade, we've gotten into a sort of a rhythm. We're privy to each others ticks and the things that make us go bonkers. We know the buttons. Baby boy however, doesn't care about any of these things. He does like buttons though. Oh boy, does he like BUTTONS.

We come into this world as completely dependent individuals. Our entire being relied on those entrusted to care for us. How can we not grow up with an inclination to believe that our life truly is the center of the world. Because it's the very center of our world. Each and every day, our own thoughts rule and direct our lives. Every outside voice is either in harmony or conflict with the things we want and the direction we believe our life is moving. I think this is a major part of the struggle when new people come into your life.

I've been finding myself getting so frustrated lately because things aren't a certain way. It could be something as small as a dirty diaper sitting on the changing table instead of in the diaper genie. Sometimes it's a kitchen that's been messy for going on a week. Why do all of these things affect my mood? I think it's because they're not the way I would have them. Kind of makes it sound like my problem right? Exactly. 

1. My wants and desires do not dictate the priorities of others. 

2. The people I interact with, are not cognizant of every unspoken expectation.

3. If you want something done right, do it yourself. 

Sometimes I need to keep these things in the front of my mind and remember that my world is not the true center. It's okay sit on a pile of graham cracker crumbs at the end of the day. 

I've basically come to the conclusion that I'm not as laid back as I once believed. The reason I used to be, was because I only ever had to worry about my own needs. Now there's more cards in my deck. I've been given a responsibility, and responsibilities aren't always easy. I look forward to the challenge, and am becoming a slow learner. As long as my family can have patience and grace with my stunted emotional stability, we'll all be heading in a great direction.

I love my wife and son, and I would have my life no other way. Come what may, we're in this together!

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